Wednesday, December 28, 2005

The Adventure Begins...

Andy's detoxification adventure starts today. Today, i start a YEAR of purity.

So, no more spending weekends battling hangovers (average weekly alcohol bill: £20-£30), no more shop bought rolls and sandwiches, bumper bags of crips (cheese and onion) and cans of coke (average lunchtime bill: £4.50).

I think I`ll just about manage to do without the weekly kebab/jumbo burger from the late-night van, but I need to do something about my tea/caffeine intake - 15+ cups per day. I think I'll wean myself off the tea slowly.

I have already purchased my DIY colonic kit from Ebay for just under a fiver. I will wait 'til the others are at work before i try this one - as it might get a bit messy. I did used to be a nurse so I understand the logistics of such undertakings well. I learned the hard way that when delivering volumes of purifying fluids into regions that are designed to expell under pressure, it is very wise to always keep one's mouth firmly closed).

To attempt to salvage what is left of my liver function, i have bought a bountiful supply of "milk thistle" capsules which has some kind of therapeutic properties for the liver, allegedly (you probably have to eat entire plants for this magical effect, but hey, it's cheap). Later today, i`m off to Tescos to impress my favorite cashier (she`s warming to me, she is, she is!) with an astonishing array of green leafy things, herbal teas and "nothing added, pure and simple" soap, shampoo and assorted toiletries. If I feel brave, I may ask her if she fancies a cup of camomile (made with filtered water) and a piece of cucumber after work.

I've located a cheap tracksuit and intend to learn how do that alien thing called "exercise". I have already got a route marked out for a gentle jog later that avoids impinging into the territorial space already claimed by the Chichester faction of the Hash House Harriers. Having looked at their website, i can honestly say that i am a little scared of the Hash House Harriers. They look like they have strange initiatory rights not entirely dissimilar to the ones i witnessed during my brief time working for the British army that usually involve large amounts of alcohol and sticking things into people's bottoms.

So, the adventure begins.. So, I will shortly be kissing goodbye to bad skin, hangover breath, and an impending sense of "I really, really must do something about my lifestyle or i`m going to die" feeling.

I am excited...join me.


Anonymous Nick Kemp said...

Great idea, I'll be checking in on the new improved healthy Austin!

10:27 AM  
Blogger Trance said...

Coffee... if its weaning you want, replace half the coffee in the jar with decaf... each time the coffee gets half way down, dilute with decaf... I know decaf is junk, but it can be done away with entirely when your done.

Tea, switch to green and white teas... Redbush (city limits) is also good and contains antioxidants (they tell me thats good :-)

2:59 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home