Tuesday, January 10, 2006

A Healing Crisis? No, it's Fungus.

My rubbery lump of kombucha culture arrived today (thanks to the nice folk at: http://www.kombuchatea.co.uk). It is currently growing in my airing cupboard. It takes a week or so to become ready, so I'll wait in anticipation.

Since starting the regime, I've not eaten any processed food at all (not even a biscuit), am drinking two pints of water a day, no tobacco and most impressively no alcohol. I've only had two occasions where I've had a craving, the first triggered off an interesting emotional reaction (see previous posts) the second passed without incident.

The greasy skin I have endured all my adult life is no more. In fact, I've developed a couple of dry patches near my chin which is quite a transformation. My life-long acne is clearing well. I no longer look pale, but rather I am now a nice shade of pink.

I go out running on Mondays and Fridays, swimming on Tuesdays, mega-Yoga on Wednesdays. Next on the list is Tai Chi and Sufi meditation.

My concentration levels are the best they have ever been, I've finally finished my book that I've been trying to ignore for too long now and I've applied to join Mensa.

A few things worry me about the kombucha though - apart from the fact that I am now growing fungus tea in my airing cupboard. The people at work think I've finally gone nuts, so I've promised to take a bottle in for them all to try. They all seem a pretty healthy bunch (well, except one of them) but i am sure they'll all benefit from a nice brew.

On the Kombucha website I find the following worrying statements:

When you begin drinking Kombucha You will probably find that perspiration and bowel movements become smellier. This is only short-term and normal, don't worry. It is because toxins are being flushed out of your body. Drink more plain water each day, this will help.

I'm not entirely sure how I take this. When start I drink fungus tea I am likely to start to smell bad. This won't be toxins coming out of my body, i am sure of it.

I'll smell because I'll be drinking fungus tea!

The other comment that i find a bit worrying is:

When you first start to drink Kombucha, your health can appear to go 'backwards' instead of getting better. The sickness you suffer from may become more acute. This is probably only a 'healing crisis' and it is common for the body to react like this.

So, let me get this straight. I drink fungus tea and not only will I start to smell (I'll avoid Tescos that week, as i don't want to mess up my chances with my favorite cashier), but I'll also get ill.

Now, I am supposed to reassure myself that I am not being poisoned because i am drinking fungus tea, oh no, I'll be ill because I am healing! It's a healing crisis!

Good God! I couldn't make this rubbish up if I tried!

However, your intrepid voyeur on the mysteries of good health will drink the evil concoction and report back in due course.

I live. I brew.

3 Comments:

Blogger Trance said...

Start with 75ml before breakfast for the first week, then upto a hundred amd lastly 125ml. You'll be fine, maybe slightly looser stools in the first week.

Oh, maybe I smell like this anyway:-)

BTW... I just lost 10 and 1/4 lb in 7 days... ooops

Adam (installation of anorexia has its advantages ;-) I'll uninstall it later)

8:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I admit I had to go and check, thought you did made up the rubbish...instead it is really hilarious...plus this:
''After a week:
If all is well, i.e. you have not been having any side effects like having to go to the toilet 4 times a day for a bowel movement etc, then it is time to increase your dose.'' !?!?!?!?!?!???

11:53 PM  
Blogger Trance said...

and the difference with conventional medecine is?

"If all is well, i.e. you have not been having any side effects like muscle rigidity, blurred vision and restless limbs, then it is time to increase your dose."

:-)

9:44 AM  

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