Saturday, February 04, 2006

Bedwetting Leeches

I awoke with a bit of a jump at about 430am.

It was one of those dreams where I couldn't find the toilet, eventually I found one but I couldn't get to it owing to the incredible mass of cobwebs that I was rapidly getting tangled in.

Suddenly, an horrificly large leech that was making Minky's "Bub! Bub! Bub! Bub!" sound dropped down my shirt and I must say that in my dream I did have a bit of a panic.

I awoke rapidly trying to detach it from my chest before it drained me and realised I seriously needed to go and pee.

I blame the bottle of wine I drank last night; I am toxic again, but more on that later.

The recurring "can't reach the toilet" dream is a useful one. I'm sure one day I'll reach it and so will wet the bed as a result.

I was a fervent bed wetter until the age of about 10 (I think) which was when the "I can't reach the toilet" dreams started.

Over the years various things have occured in my dreams so I couldn't reach the toilet. Here's a quick list:

  • There was a monster thing in the way.
  • The ceiling was too low.
  • I wasn't wearing the right shirt.
  • The toilet wasn't connected to the floor.
  • The toilet was too high up.
  • The toilet was too small.
  • There was a queue.
  • The bullies were in there.
  • I didn't have the right ticket.

Before all that started though, I can remember the recurring dream I had as a very small child.

The dream involved what was effectively quite a psychedelic garden (I'm convinced that many small children genuinely live in a psychedelic world - everything tends to be round and soft and safe, they have talking turtles and bears and things that make plinky-plonky tunes, everything is bright and colourful and often unusual. New discoveries and learnings are made every day and everything tends to have the element of fun and is often non-verbal.)

This garden was Mary's garden. I didn't know who Mary was, but I knew she was "quite contrary" although I didn't know what "contrary" meant.

However, I did know the secret to how her garden grew - I kept peeing in her watering can.

So whilst her garden grew well, my poor mum spent her days washing bedsheets.

So today - being awake early - I thought I'd type "medicinal leeches" into google. I do this sort of thing sometimes.

Here's the first google return:

It's quite fascinating and inevitably will make for great dinner party conversation later tonight!

Adult Bed Wetters
Meanwhile: In my therapy practice I am often consulted by adult bedwetters seeking help to overcome their problem. What is awful is that so many people have suffered this problem for so long because they too embarrassed to ask for help. After all, this isn't subject for common conversation, "Hi, I'm Andy and I wet the bed! What do you do?"

The problem impacts on so much more than a simple laundry bill. It must be quite hard to maintain a normal sexual relationship when your partner keeps waking up covered in your piss.

There's often a huge dilemma - to tell or not to tell. Many avoid the risk of relationships altogether.

Unless there is a physical urological basis for the problem, bedwetting is remarkably easy to resolve in the majority of cases. Anyone wishing to contact me on this issue should click this link to my other website: and contact me.


Blogger Grandma said...

I peed my pants in the 2nd grade in class because a boy had peed all over the bathroom floor and we weren't allowed to use the bathroom after that. It was embarrassing.

6:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have this problem and i have since i was born and its the most embarrasing ever especially seen as i have a boyfiend and it happens when he stay round!

8:24 PM  

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